Whether it’s at home or work, certain people in our lives just give off negative vibes. It doesn’t matter if they are a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, roommate, colleague, family member, etc. If they are toxic and make you feel miserable more than happy, remove and cut them off your life. If getting the peace you want requires you to say goodbye to negative thoughts and toxic people, then so be it.
A toxic person can control your life without you even realizing it. They know your weaknesses and know how to use them against you. They know when to make you laugh or cry. And they may also be physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive yet somehow you still allow them in your life to continue doing these things. It may be because it’s not easy to spot these things sometimes, or maybe because you just can’t let them go.
It’s not easy to cut off people from your life especially when they’ve become a constant. When you love a person, you open up yourself to them and go the extra mile for them. This is completely understandable, it’s normal and nothing is wrong with it. What’s not normal is you being good to someone who does not do the same to you in return.
There are a lot of toxic people around you. Maybe it’s your boss who nags you at work and continues to take advantage of you even after work. Maybe it’s your current relationship who fails to appreciate you and gives you more stress than happiness. Or maybe it’s a family member or a relative who is so negative, you just can’t even deal with them.
Dealing with toxic people can be one cause of losing yourself. In the process of exposing yourself to these people, you can even develop self-destructive habits and not even know it. Toxicity is mind-damaging and this is a big reason why we should be aware of it.
Saying goodbye to negative thoughts and toxic people can be a little bit hard at first, but it will eventually become natural once you understand the reason why you had to cut them off your life.
Take A Break
You always have the option to choose how you want to spend your time and who to spend it with. To start with, take a break from interacting with people who drain you. Lessen your time and exposure with that person and stop forcing yourself to “deal with them”. Avoid that aunt you dread to be in the same room with, decline your boss’ call when your phone rings beyond working hours, stop going to social gatherings when you know that a certain person is going to be there. You have the ultimate choice who to let inside your circle, if guarding your happiness means less time with other people then you’ll just have to brave it out.
Just like social distancing, establishing boundaries is creating emotional distance from toxic people in your life. Say, for example, there’s a friend who always depends on you and asks for your help whenever she’s in trouble, but when she’s not, you never hear from her. Some people take advantage of other people’s kindness and compassion, and if you feel like your relationship with these kinds of people is not healthy anymore, then you’re better off alone.
Avoid Negative Self-Thoughts
You are entitled to your own thoughts and opinions, but when these are full of negativity, then it’s best to avoid them. It’s not easy to be always positive, trust me I’ve been there. There are always the down days and negative thoughts will always creep up on you when you are vulnerable and get the best of you. It’s tough but for your own sanity, it’s best to avoid negative thoughts when you can.
Surround Yourself with Positive People
This may be an unpopular thought but you can choose your crowd. You can choose who you spend time with. Surround yourself with people who are great for your mental health. Spend time with loyal friends who genuinely care for you and support you to do better. Being around positive people will influence your mood and reactions.
You Have the Right to be Happy
Remember, you have the right to be happy and you can do whatever you want to secure that happiness even if it means cutting off people. The most important part here is taking care of your emotional and mental health. The happier you are, the healthier you will be.
Life is too short to deal with negative thoughts and difficult and toxic people. When things go haywire, it’s time to finally let go of them. It’s easier said than done, but it is possible.